What The Past Holds
by vampiredream83
Summary: My name is Rose Wallace. At least it has been for the past sixteen years of my life. Before that...I have no idea. But when danger comes looking for my daughters, uncovering my past seems like the only option to find a way out of it. Seeking refuge at court, my past comes crashing down on me, and I learn things that shouldn't be possible. I just pray we will all make it out alive.
1. Chapter 1

*A/N: I don't own Vampire Academy, or the characters you know and love. This is my own fan fiction, created for what I hope will be your enjoyment.

* * *

The airport is packed. People are squealing, shouting and embracing as their loved ones return home for the holidays. But there are only two faces my eyes are searching for in the sea of people. They are the two faces I'd know anywhere, the faces that can brighten my day no matter how bad it's been. My daughters.

I pull my phone out of my pocket once again and check for messages. The irrational fear that they have missed the plane is eating away at me. I know it's over kill. It's just that they've been away for too long. Yes, I know it's for the best and all, but that doesn't make the time apart any easier, or go any faster. Much to my relief there are still no messages.

So I stand there, stretching onto the very tips of my toes, waiting for my first glimpse of them. It's been six months since I've seen them, and the time has moved painfully slow. It's going even slower now as I wait for them to appear.

"Mum!" I hear a familiar voice cry.

I spin in the direction of the voice and instantly find my girls. Tiannah Louise and Akeso Jasmine – or Tia and Kes for short. They were born eight weeks premature, but they were fighters even then, never giving up even though the odds were against them. They're my daughters, fathered by a man I can't remember, and I love them with all that I am.

They both crash into me, sending me stumbling back a few steps before I can steady myself. I reach up and wrap my arms around their necks, holding them tightly as tears well in my eyes. They're home. They're safe. My heart it once again complete…well as complete as it will ever be. Call me crazy, but I always feel as though something is missing.

"Mum," Akeso whines, "you said you wouldn't cry."

"And you said you wouldn't grow any more," I say with a slight laugh as I pull back from them, ensuring I keep a hand on their shoulders. "Now, let me look at you both." I add before I can get the common response of 'we were five at the time', complete with a roll of their eyes.

They look a lot like me. Their long, thick, dark brown – almost black – hair has the same natural wave as mine, their pearly complexion matches perfectly, and their slender figures have inherited my curves. But apart from that, I don't know who else they look like. They have brown eyes, but there are warmer and more liquid chocolate in colour, and personality wise, they are cool, calm and collected with an occasional spark of fire. And they are already taller than me.

"Gosh Mum, pull yourself together," Tiannah gasps as she looks around with flushed cheeks. At fifteen, everything I do embarrasses them in one way or another, so I simply chuckle as I swipe away stray tears with my shoulders. "Seriously. It's only been a few months."

"And I've missed you both every second," I tells them before kissing each of them on the forehead. It's quite a feat given their height and unwillingness to bend down and be embarrassed even more.

We walk out of the airport with our arms linked and hail a taxi from the busy sidewalk. A car is a luxury I can't afford, and I don't really need one anyway. Everything we could possibly need is within walking distance from our apartment. The airport is the only place I need a car to get to, and since the girls only come home from the academy a couple of times a year, it's cheaper to use taxis.

"How are classes going?" Tia asks once we're speeding along the freeway.

"They're going really well," I reply. "We have a couple of new girls that started a couple of weeks ago."

"Do they live in the building?" Kes asks.

"They sure do," I say with a smile. Kes and Tia pretty much know everyone in our apartment building, and they're always keen to meet and welcome any new comers. "They're fairly young, so everyone's pitching in to help them get settled in."

I've been running 'self-defence' classes for almost twelve years now. I had started self training when the girls were only toddlers. I was severely out of shape and feared I wouldn't be able to defend them if we happened across strigoi at night. I managed to source some equipment for a fraction of the regular cost and began working out whenever I could. It wasn't exactly easy to find time between my shifts at three separate diners and raising the twins, but had to make it work.

Soon after, other dhampirs in the building started asking if I could train them as well. And off it went. I charge only a minimal amount for the classes, only enough to cover the costs of purchasing new equipment and maintaining what we have. A few of the women even took to making practice dummies after I sourced some stakes from some shady moroi. We make do with what we can get or make. It's how we do things in the building.

"Can we come to the classes while we're home?" Tia asks as she stares out the window. "You're a better teacher than any of the ones we have at the academy."

"Helps that you've actually had to fight some strigoi," Kes adds with a shudder. "I'm pretty sure our combat teachers have never even seen one much less had to fight for their lives."

An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach as Kes mentions the strigoi I've fought. The only reason I know that I've killed any strigoi is because of the molniga on the back of my neck. It's supposed to be an honour – from what I've been told – and maybe it would be if I could remember how I actually got them.

"Of course you can," I tell them, pushing away the feeling of unease. "I'd love to see what they're teaching you at the academy. Especially if you claim it to be so awful."

Half an hour later the taxi stops in front of the apartment building we call home. I have lived in the same two-bedroom apartment since before the twins were born, and have no plans to leave any time soon. Sure it's cheap, old and severely run down, but I love it all the same. It holds our lives, our memories.

"Wow Mum, love what you've done with the place," Kes jokes as I unbolt the door.

Sure four deadlocks may seem a little excessive, but it isn't a great neighbourhood. And I don't just mean strigoi. I can defend myself as well as any other dhampir in the building, but a human brandishing a gun does have a certain advantage.

"There's been an increase in activity around here lately," I say as I drop my keys on the kitchen counter. "Human and strigoi."

The building is home to single dhampir mothers mainly. Most of them have trained at an academy at some point, but have chosen to raise their children over a career as a guardian. So normally strigoi would stay away, and the crime rate is fairly low. We can defend ourselves, and when our children, or each other, are in danger, we are rather lethal. That, unfortunately, isn't enough some times.

Just last week four residents were killed just outside the building. The alchemists did their job in covering up the evidence, but we all know what happened.

"Maybe it's time to move?" Tia offers as a solution.

"That's not an option for so many reasons," I say as I pull the meat and vegetables out of the fridge for dinner. "But until things settle down I don't want either of you going anywhere without me."

"Mum!" they exclaim together.

I knew before the words had even left my mouth they wouldn't be happy about the decision I'd made.

"There's no negotiating on this one," I tell them in my best 'I'm mother' voice.

I hate to do it, but their safety will always be my top priority. I knew they would have made plans with their friends from the building before they returned home, they always did. Trips to the mall and movies with the kids they grew up with had always taken place when they came home from the academy. It had never concerned me before – even though I am what my daughters considered to be an over-protective parent – but rumours are flowing that humans have been watching the building for strigoi. And I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Come on Mum, you can't hold us prisoner here for the entire month," Tia demands. "We need to get out for air sometimes."

"Then you can get air with me right beside you," I reply as I chop the carrots. "And you're not the only ones, so you can stop acting like the entire world is against you."

The girls stomp away down the hall towards their bedroom as I continue to prepare dinner. It's only beef and vegetable stew, but it's something I can make without much thought. As the meat, onion and garlic sizzle away in the pot I finish chopping the rest of the vegetables. I tip them into the pot and add some stock and spices before turning the burner down.

With a sigh I flop onto the couch. I had briefly considered checking on the twins, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. They're both angry with me for keeping them house bound, even though I'm only doing it for their own good. I knew seeking them out would only make the situation worse. Guess that's another thing they got from me.

A couple of hours had passed before the twins resurfaced, and they make it perfectly clear they're still annoyed with me – and that's putting it nicely. Between the slamming of the cupboards and heavy feet on the wooden floorboards, they make it blindingly evident they don't appreciate my parenting.

"Would you just stop," I call out towards the kitchen. "I get it, I'm a horrible mother for wanting to keep you both safe. But slamming the cupboards and attempting to create holes in the floor isn't going to change anything."

"No, but you stopping being so bloody over-protective would." I hear one of them mutter.

"I heard that," I tell them as their footsteps retreat back down the hallway.

I love my girls more than anything in the world – even when they're acting five instead of fifteen – but it was going to be a really long month. I know it's unrealistic to believe I can keep them cooped up in our small apartment the entire time, especially when I only have a couple of weeks off work.

But I still had to try. I can't really explain the reason. Call it a gut feeling, maybe. I just know I need to keep them close to me at all costs. For the first time ever I was actually hoping for a snowstorm. The kind that would shut down the entire city. At least that way they would have to stay inside.

Dinner is eaten in silence, and as soon as the girls finish they sulk back to their room, leaving me to clean up. I wash and dry the dishes and put away the leftovers before key-locking the deadlocks to ensure there are no attempts of escape. I trust my daughters most of the time, but they are as stubborn as I am at times.

I fall into bed with my mind racing at a million miles per hour. A small apartment, two teenage girls with nothing to do. I need to think of something – anything – that will work for them as well as myself. Otherwise I'm going to quickly lose my mind.

I stare up at the ceiling, wondering what I was like at their age. I wish I knew. Perhaps it could have helped me to know what I needed to expect from my daughters. Maybe I'd know how to combat their boredom.

Not remembering is always the hardest when I lay in bed waiting for sleep to claim me. Faces flash into my mind, but their identity is a complete mystery to me. I hear and feel things I have no explanation for. I feel like I'm going crazy. It feels like I'm no longer feeling myself, but someone else entirely, even though I know it's not possible.

My fingers play with the leather bracelet secured to my left wrist. It's the only thing I have from my life before all of this. From before the twins, from before London. It's the only connection I have to a life unknown to me. For me, the bracelet – as plain as it looks – symbolises that that time of my life is real. It existed. I just can't remember it for some reason.

All I know is the past sixteen years of my life. And sometimes that just isn't enough.


	2. Chapter 2

I barely slept last night. I suppose the main reason was my worry that the twins would try to push the boundaries. I know from the advice of other mothers that I can't let my guard down with my daughters. If they're thinking about getting away from my 'over-protective' ways, they will likely do it when they think I'm no longer watching them like a hawk.

Any sleep I managed to get was hampered by dreams that have haunted me for years. They're there as soon as my mind drifted away from the day-to-day events that keep me occupied and continued without fail until I eventually give up on sleep altogether. They contain people I don't know and events I can't recall, but they always seem so real.

There's little to no relief from my daughters' attitude when they wander into the kitchen either. They mope around while I cook their breakfast, and leave me to clean up once again. I pay little attention to their stroppiness though. I can endure them being pissed off with me as long as they're safe.

The morning moves slowly as I clean the apartment and pull out the Christmas tree. It's still just two weeks until Christmas, and putting the tree up is something we normally do together. But I'm not holding my breath while I wait for the twins to calm down. I figure I might as well do it on my own so it gets done.

"Mum," Kes says softly as I put our well-used plastic tree together. "Can I help you with that?"

"Sure you're not too old for this kinda stuff?" I ask with a small smile, it's all I can manage through the stress. It has been their reasoning for the last couple of years when they wanted to go to the mall after making their decorations for the year.

"Think I might have got a little younger since last Christmas," she replies with a small laugh. "Where are the decorations?"

"In the hall cupboard."

I finish putting the tree together as Akeso walks away. I wish what she said was true, that they had actually gotten younger since last Christmas. The years have slipped away from me. They've grown up in what seems like a blink of an eye.

Being a single parent hasn't been easy. Times were tough right from the start, but I did what I had to in order to keep our little family going. I have always tried to give my daughters everything they wanted, I hate having to say no to them. That one word never gets any easier to say, no matter how many times I have to.

I always make sure they come home each break the academy has. I don't know why, but it's important that this happens. I have also tried to make Christmas special every year. I save every dollar possible throughout the year in the hope of making Christmas better than the one before. It's one of many things I can't remember ever experiencing, so I guess I'm making memories for myself as well.

Kes comes back with her arms full of plastic boxes and Tia trailing behind her. She sets them down beside me and they both get to work sorting through the decorations they have made and collected over the years.

"I was thinking," Tia says as she holds up a plastic bauble she painted when she was eight, "maybe we could make a theme for the tree this year."

"That sounds like a good idea," I say, curious as to what she has in mind. "What do you want to theme it as?"

"Well…" She pauses for a few moments, lost in her thoughts. "We could do a specific colour or colours. Or maybe we could just use the decorations Kes and I have made. Kinda like a memory tree or something."

I smile. Both ideas are great, and after their mood since I told them they're under lock and key, both are far from anything I'd been expecting.

"Oh, I like the memory tree idea," I tell her, "but I don't think either of your have ever made anything for the top of the tree."

"We could make that one today," Kes suggests. I can see she likes her sister's idea too. "The top of the tree can represent the here and now."

I leave the girls to work their magic on the tree while I work out what we'll have for Christmas dinner. Our Christmas dinners have always been a far cry from anything 'traditional'. Normally we just ate what we would any other night. I can't recall the girls ever actually eating turkey in their lives, unless they've had it at the academy. I can't be sure I've ever had turkey either.

The majority of the money I save during the year has always gone on presents for the girls. An attempt to get them everything they've wanted in that year. Food comes in at a distant second.

I want this year to be different though. The girls are making an effort, their sudden change in attitude tells me that, and I decide I will do the same. I pull out my notepad and begin writing out the shopping list for Christmas dinner. Sure I'm likely to max out my credit cards, but this Christmas we're going to have turkey and all the trimmings.

A while later the twins tell me they only have the angel left for the tree to be complete. They still need to make it, but they'd like to go to the mall and hit the craft shops. With the shopping list complete, we grab our coats and head for the mall.

As we exit the building, I can't shake the feeling that we're being watched.

~:~:~:~:~

We return home three hours later with our arms filled with bags of groceries. It's the first time since having the new locks installed that I wish I hadn't. It takes some teamwork, but we finally manage to get inside and dump everything on the kitchen bench.

The girls rummage through the haul and find what they need for the angel and return to the lounge room while I set about finding room for all the food. To anyone looking in they could easily think I'm planning on feeding an entire army instead of just three people, and I only got the non-perishable items on the list. There was no point getting the turkey of fresh vegetables when they would likely spoil before Christmas even got here.

"Mum," Tia calls a while later, "it's ready. Come see."

I put down the paper I'd been skimming through to occupy myself and walk towards the lounge room. The joy in Tia's voice is clear, and I'm looking forward to seeing what they've created. In all honesty, it doesn't matter all that much what the tree looks like. They have worked together, with no fights, and as a mother of teenage girls, that brings me a lot of happiness.

But as I walk into the lounge room I can't help but stop in my tracks.

The tree looks incredible. No. Better than incredible. Each year when the girls were home from the academy for the Christmas break they have made a couple of decorations each. Those decorations have now been turned into a timeline, with the oldest at the bottom of the tree, and the ones from last year hanging towards the top. But what has caught and held my attention is the angel sitting in all its glory at the very top.

She is beyond amazing with her handmade white gown, sequinned wings and white flowing hair.

"Wow," I manage to say. Though I'm sure it doesn't quite describe how I'm feeling in this moment.

The trip down memory lane causes tears to well in my eyes for the second time in just two days. I can still see Kes and Tia sitting at the kitchen table eagerly making their decorations for the tree. The tradition started the Christmas before they started at the academy, they were only five. It has continued every year without fail.

"Do you like it Mum?" Kes asks, a vibrant smile stretches across her lips.

"The word _like_ doesn't even begin to describe it girls," I murmur, still spellbound by the tree. "It looks truly amazing.

My heart swells as I look over at them, their smiles are so bright they could almost chase away my deepest fears. There's no way to describe how much I love them. I don't think words of that magnitude could possibly exist.

I'm sure I've made mistakes in my past – even if I can't remember them – but whatever happened between my daughters' father and myself that ended with them being brought into this world is definitely not one of them.

My daughters are my everything, and at times like this I can forget how I feel not knowing my past. I know without a second thought, I will give my life so they can continue living theirs.

I guess that's what being a mother is all about, whether you planned to be one or not – whether you can remember how you came to be one or not. You give everything you possibly can for your children. It's like an instinct that kicks in automatically when your child is born.

~:~:~:~:~

I lay in bed, once again unable to fall asleep. My mind swirls rapidly with thoughts and emotions. I'm thankful that things seem to be back on track with Kes and Tia. Though, I of course know that doesn't mean I can lower my guard with them. I hate playing the over-protective parent, I hope they'll one day understand that.

Unconsciousness laps closer to me as my thoughts begin to drift away. My fingers have once again found the leather band, it lulls me even closer to sleep. And as I drift away a dream comes into view. I'm in a room I have never seen before. I know this because I can't recall ever seeing anything so opulent in my life.

I try to look further around the room, but I can't. My eyes remain focused on a moroi woman sitting behind a monstrous wooden desk. It's all but impossible to guess the woman's age. Moroi age much slower than humans, and even dhampirs, and there's barely a wrinkle on her hard face. She could be anywhere between forty and seventy for all I know.

I try to glance around the room again as I wait for the woman to finish with her paperwork. It's like I have no control over my own eyes. Strange. I try over and over, until her cold voice draws my mind back to her.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice Princess," the woman says as she pushes the small stack of papers away from her. _Princess_? I think numbly, it definitely isn't like my usual dreams.

"Of course Your Majesty, what can I help you with?" I ask as I gracefully bow my head.

Except it isn't me. It's someone else. It's like I'm _inside_ someone else.

"Well, I fear a new threat may be forming," the 'Queen' states as she motions for the Princess to take a seat across from her. She accepts the invitation immediately as she doesn't want to cause any offence to the Monarch. "At this stage I have nothing concrete to go on, which is why the council aren't involved as yet. But I want to run it by you. Perhaps you may be able to offer some insight I haven't been able to see."

"Okay," I…she says softly. "I shall do my best."

"You always do Vasilisa," the Monarch says with what looks like a forced smile. _Vasilisa_ , a unique name, yet it seems almost familiar, like I've heard it somewhere before. Yet I have no idea where. "And I value that immensely." She pauses as she gazes at the Princess with cold eyes, she seems lost in thought but soon recovers and speaks again. "Right, back to what you are here for. I came across a journal some years ago. It had been written by someone who claimed to see into the future, and of course this fact alone held my attention. I read the entire journal in one sitting, but once I had finished it I didn't think any more of it. Frankly, I found it outlandish that anyone could suggest anything of that magnitude could ever happen."

"What do you mean?" Vasilisa asks after the Queen pauses for longer than she feels comfortable with.

I know the Princess wants the meeting to be over sooner rather than later. While she's thankful that the Monarch has called on her for an opinion, it is close to the holidays and she has a lot to do in preparation of family arriving. Vasilisa is young in the eyes of the royals, she wants to prove herself to them.

"The writer of this journal claimed a catastrophic event would occur with only two possible outcomes," the Monarch explains. Her eyes are now focused on the window across the room, and remain there even as she continues to speak. "The first outcome is that strigoi would gain domination over the entire world. If this were to happen…well, there would be nothing left for us. Moroi will quickly cease to exist."

"And the other outcome?" Vasilisa enquires. I don't know how she manages to keep her voice so level and calm. I can feel her heart pounding within her chest – though it could always be mine that I'm feeling.

"We would gain a greater domination over the strigoi," the woman replies.

"Okay," Vasilisa says as the Queen's words replay in her mind. "And what is the cause of these outcomes? How are we to gain the domination?"

It's a question that has been asked for decades, if not centuries. Strigoi preferred to prey on moroi because of the power that came from their blood. Without the high number of strigoi currently in the world, moroi would finally have a chance of surviving.

"The outcome is meant to be decided at the end of a great battle. A battle unlike anything we have ever seen before in the history of even the human wars. Whoever finds the promised ones first, and learns how to utilise their power to their advantage will undoubtedly win."

"And you're basing this on what you've read in an old journal," Vasilisa states calmly. "It could be possible that the journal is incorrect…or even a work of fiction."

"Of course. As I mentioned before, I thought nothing of the journal for a long time now," the Queen says dismissively. "However, recently I was approached by a person who is also able to see into the future, just as the writer claimed they could. This person…well I trust their word. Their visions have never failed me in the past."

"Alright," Vasilisa says with a slight sigh. "Who are we looking for? The promised ones you mentioned, where are we supposed to find them?"

The dream floats away as my mind rouses me awake. I have no time to consider the strange dream, as it soon becomes apparent why I've been woken.


	3. Chapter 3

I was woken by two teenage girls yelling at each other in the hallway. I groan as I pull myself from the warmth and comfort of the heavy blankets and throw on my robe as I walk towards the door.

In the doorway to the bathroom stands Tia with her hands on her hips, staring at her sister in utter disbelief. Kes stands right in front of her, blocking her exit. Her arms are crossed over her chest, her foot tapping rapidly against the floor in frustration and her eyes are full of hateful venom. Neither of them have noticed my arrival and continue screaming at each other at the top of their lungs in order to be heard over the other.

"Hey…hey…HEY!" I say. My voice growing louder as it becomes clear the girls aren't going to stop yelling at each other. "What's going on here?"

"She pushed the tree over," Akeso says with a bitter tone. "There are decorations everywhere. It's completely ruined."

"I did not," Tiannah exclaims in her own defence.

"What makes you think Tia pushed the tree over?" I ask Kes.

"You mean apart from the fact that it's laying on the floor?" she questions harshly. "Well I know I didn't do it…and we don't have a cat."

"I didn't push the damn tree over," Tia cries as she stomps her bare feet against the tiles of the bathroom.

"Both of you just stop," I say loudly. "Tia, go and get your robe and slippers on, it's too cold to be walking around here like that. Akeso, calm down please. I'll work this out once I have a mug of coffee in my hands."

I move past them as they continue to glare at each other, and walk into the kitchen to turn the water on to boil. Lack of sleep rarely bothers me – I'm used to it by now – but to be woken after a couple of hours of weird dream filled sleep by my daughters fighting over something as little as the Christmas tree falling over is doing my head in.

I make my coffee and take a long sip before venturing into the lounge room. On the floor, sprawled with decorations all around it, is the tree that had looked so good just hours before. It's facing towards the outside wall of the apartment, a few pieces have broken apart, but most puzzling is the fact that I can't see the angel anywhere.

A few moments later the girls join me in the lounge room. They stand well apart from each other with their arms crossed and sour looks on their faces.

"Did either of you come in here last night?" I ask.

"No," they reply in unison.

"Well, I can't see how either of you could have knocked the tree over." I tell them diplomatically. Sure I'm no lie detector, but I know my daughters well enough to know when they're lying to me. "Did either of you put the angel somewhere?"

They look at me with mouths agape. That is answer enough for me. So, if they hadn't taken the angel or knocked the tree over, then what – or who – had?

"The angel is gone?" Kes asks once she has recovered the use of her voice.

"It's probably just under the tree or something." I say. I somehow manage to keep my voice steady.

I place my mug on the coffee table and get the majority of the tree into an upright position. Glancing at where the tree had been it becomes clear the angel is indeed gone. I look at the girls', they've paled with the realisation that the angel isn't here. Any they are no doubt considering the worse.

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation," I tell them. Not that I'm entirely convinced of that myself. "Why don't you go have some breakfast, and get dressed for the day. I'll sort this out."

"Are you going to call the police?" Tia asks expectantly.

"I'm not sure," I tell her truthfully. Calling the police seems a little extreme if it's only the angel that's gone missing. "As I said, I'll work it out."

The twins leave the room, and I'm left wondering what I'm supposed to do. It isn't a situation I'd ever had to deal with – as far as I can remember anyway. To say I feel out of my depth would be an understatement.

Collapsing onto the couch I consider my options. Not that I have many to choose from. We rarely call the police when things happen within the apartment building. Unless something really big happens, we deal with it ourselves. But the question remains: had someone actually broken into our apartment to steal an angel my daughters made?

It seems highly unlikely. No one else has even seen the angel.

I spend the good part of the next hour scouring the lounge room for the angel, with no luck. I move the lounge, television unit and bookshelf. They only reveal a lot of dust and a few toys that had gone missing when the twins were little. I all but turn the entire apartment upside down looking. But there is no angel to be found.

 _Surely it didn't get up and fly away_ , I think idly as I consider what to do next.

It hits me like a tonne of bricks. I can't for the life of me remember if I locked the deadlocks before I'd gone to bed. I run to the door, only to find them locked and secure. A sigh of relief passes through my parted lips as I lean against the wall.

The door being locked still doesn't explain what happened last night. But as far as I can see, the apartment hasn't been broken into.

"Did you find it Mum?" Kes asks as I walk into the kitchen.

"Not yet Honey," I say as I open the fridge and pull out the jug of water. "I'm sure it will show up though."

"I think you should call the police," she states as she dries the last bowl from breakfast.

"There's no sign of anyone breaking in Kes," I tell her with a sigh. I'm thankful I don't have to get anyone else involved, especially the police. "The police have more important things to deal with than a missing angel from a Christmas tree."

Any relief I felt of there being no evidence of a break in is short lived. No amount of relief could answer the questioned that is still looming over me: where had the angel gone? And even more alarming: why was the tree facing towards the window?

"Where's Tia?" I ask, suddenly aware of her absence.

"Laying down," Kes replies as she throws the tea towel onto the bench.

"Is she unwell?"

My girls had stopped sleeping during the day after they had turned three. Unless they were sick that is… or…no, I wasn't going there. Not with everything else going on.

Kes shrugs, "she just said she was still tired."

It was strange, but I try not to think much of it. I reason with myself that they had probably stayed up late, and they had been up much earlier than usual. I preferred that line of reasoning over the only other possibility.

Kes leaves the kitchen and heads towards their bedroom. I lean against the counter and sip my water, allowing my mind a moment to wander in search of the answers that continue to evade me. A knock at the door, however, pulls me out of my daydreaming haze.

At the door stands Arielle. Her pretty faced contorted with fear. Arielle has only lived in the building for a few years but since we are close in age we formed an instant friendship. My daughters have often babysat her five-year-old son when they're home from the academy. As well as I know Arielle, I had never seen her look like she does now.

"Arielle, come in," I say as I glance warily down the hall. "Are you okay?"

She shakes her head as she passes me. My stomach drops as I wonder what could possibly have happened to shake her up so much. Arielle is strong. Not just physically, but emotionally she's a steal wall that's impossible to penetrate. She's had some really nasty experiences at the hands of moroi men that have left her hard and cold, until you really get to know her.

Arielle walks straight towards the lounge room while I head to the kitchen to get her a drink of water. She looks like she's seen a ghost, or worse, strigoi.

I sit next to her on the couch and hand her the water. She sips it slowly as her hands shake uncontrollably. It's only as I glance over her for any sign of physical injuries an I notice the puncture wounds on the base of her neck.

"Arielle," I gasp, "what happened?"

"It isn't what you think," she whispers as she stares blankly out the window.

"Then tell me what it is."

She remains silent for a few moments before a sigh pushes past her lips and she begins talking. She still won't look at me though. "I was walking home from work yesterday when I was confronted by humans," she says as I hang on her ever word. "I tried to fight, but there were just too many of them. I was pushed into a van and taken…I don't know where I was taken. It was an abandoned building or warehouse I think. And it seemed like we drove forever to get there…"

Arielle's words trail off as she begins to ramble.

"What did the humans want?" I ask her softly. The last thing I want to do is startle her in any way.

"This is going to sound insane Rose," she says softly. "I can't even believe it, and it happened to me!"

"I know you're not insane Arielle," I say with a small smile. "Just tell me what happened."

"They took me to a strigoi," she whispers. When she realises I'm not going to freak out on her, she continues. "I tried to fight again, just like you've taught me, but he subdued me so quickly. He told me he wasn't going to kill me. I know it sounds stupid…what strigoi doesn't want to kill? I know I sound insane…but I wouldn't be here if he'd wanted to kill me, right…"

"What did he want then?" I ask, my voice is as calm as I can manage.

"For me to pass on a message," she says. Her voice is shaking and I can see the fear burning in her eyes. "He told me if I didn't pass it on he would come for Josh…he said he would make me watch as he drained his life…before turning him."

"Shit Arielle," I curse in a breathless whisper. "Who do you need to give this message to?"

"You."

Everything stops. My heart, my breathing, time. It all just stops. My mind refuses to process what my friend is telling me. I know Arielle would never joke or lie about anything like this, but still, my mind keeps demanding me to realise it's only logical that she's lying. After all, what could any strigoi possibly want from me?"

I'm a guardian. Hell, I don't even know if I'd graduated from an academy. Sure, I've killed a few strigoi over the years, but only when they came at me. Had I killed one of this strigoi's 'friends'?

My mind continues to pound with questions I have no answers to. I need to pull myself together. I need to stay focused.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" I ask once my brain gives me a few moments of grace.

"He told me I had to give a message. To you," she repeats softly. "I'm so sorry Rose."

"What is the message?"

Arielle draws in a deep breath and focuses her attention on her shaking hands. "He said you must relinquish your daughters to him, or the consequences will be dire."

"What?" I gasp. "There's no way in fuc…"

My words drop off as the realisation hits me. This strigoi, whoever he is, wants the only things in the world that matter to me.

"Who is he?" I demand. "Tell me everything you know Arielle!"

There isn't a whole lot Arielle knows, and that infuriates me. I'm not angry at her, but she still wears the brunt of my anger as I question her over and over. She has no idea who the strigoi is, or how he knows me. But he knows me by name, and somehow knows about my daughters. She says he forcefully drank from her before the humans pushed her back into the van.

I bury my head in my hands as my anger turns into panic.

I try in vain to convince myself that I will wake up in just a moment. Surely it's all just a dream I'm stuck in. I even pinch myself.

"I'm really sorry Rose," Arielle says as my mind is swarmed by thoughts.

I barely notice Arielle walk out of the room. My eyes stare straight ahead, but my mind can't register anything they see. I've gone into shock or something. A state where I can't react, I can't speak, I can't even move. I can't stop my mind from bombarding me with threatening thoughts and horrific images.

"Rose," Arielle says. She kneels in front of me, holding a mug of fresh, steaming coffee. "Here, drink this."

I take the mug from her, my hands are shaking just as much as hers had when she first arrived, but thankfully she hasn't filled the mug too high. Coffee had become my best friend as a young mother. It had always been there to perk me up after a sleepless night. It had the power to give me more control over my head, and it doesn't fail me now either. I drink half of the coffee before I can finally begin to process any of the thoughts that cloud my mind. My mind is no longer holding me hostage. I'm free to find a way out of whatever I've found myself in.

"There's nothing else you can tell me about this strigoi?" I ask. I'm hoping if I keep asking she might remember something else – anything else.

She shakes her head. "I wasn't thinking straight I guess," she tells me. Regret is written all over her features. "I'm sorry Rose, I should have paid more attention."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's why he would have drunk from you. The endorphins would have left you forgetting everything except what he wanted you to remember. It's the most potent form of compulsion there is," I tell her. I'm not exactly sure if what I'm saying is true or not. Even if it's not the case, it isn't every day you come face to face with a strigoi, of course she wouldn't have been in the right frame of mind to remember specific details. I can't blame her for that. "I just need to work out what to do."

"Yeah. Me too," she says. Her voice is distant as she stares out the window again.

"Hey, I'm not going to let anything happen to you or Josh," I tell her. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently. "We'll find a way out of this together. Where is Josh anyway?"

"He stayed with Sophia last night," she replies. "I came straight here after I checked in to make sure he's okay."

We sit in silence as I finish my coffee. There aren't many options I can see as being viable, and I'm not sure if that's because there aren't many options to begin with or because my mind isn't able to focus on them. Of course I will fight. I will always fight for my daughters. But I have no idea how many strigoi we will be facing if it comes to that.

I need more information. I need to know how this strigoi could possibly know me. And really, the only possibility is that he somehow knows me from my past. The past I can't remember. We also need somewhere safe while we work out our next step.

"Do you know much about the royal court?" I ask Arielle.

"A bit," she says. "I've been there once or twice."

"Do you think we could seek refuge there?"

"Maybe," she replied with a tinge of uncertainty.

"Okay, well I think it's worth a try," I say. "Go and pack a bag or two for you and Josh. I'll get the twins organised. But we need to leave before dark, so come back here asap."

Arielle leaves without questioning my directions. I stop by the girls' room on the way to my own and tell them to pack. Instantly their mouths spring into action, firing off questions at a fast rate. As calmly as I can manage I tell them there's no time to explain, that I need them to pack so we can leave before nightfall.

Once I'm satisfied the twins are packing I go to my room and pick up the phone from the bedside table. I need to organise flights and get myself packed. There's no time to think. I throw clothes into my bag without paying any attention to what I'm actually packing.

Court is the only place I can think of that might hold the information I need. And as far fetched as it might be…maybe, just maybe, someone will recognise me.


	4. Chapter 4

Sixteen years. That's how long I've lived in the suburbs of London. Away from the moroi and the answers that might have put the pieces of my life back together. Sixteen years of working my fingers to the bone and raising my daughters the best I could. Sixteen years is a long time, especially when as far as you know, that's when your life started.

I'm not entirely convinced that travelling to court is the best idea, but it's the only option we really have. I don't know the royal court, I don't know if there's danger lurking there like it is back at my apartment. And I'm worried about my past, I'm scared it will come back to haunt me in ways I could never have imagined. But where else can I take my daughters to be safe from strigoi?

And there is more to this entire situation than just myself and my petty fears about going to court. My daughters, Arielle and Josh are all in danger. They're the ones I need to be thinking about. My daughters especially. My need to keep my girls safe is almost consuming, and it doesn't matter what it costs me.

For some reason unknown to me strigoi have come for them. They want my daughters, and there's no way I was ever going to allow that to happen.

So I put my fears aside and sternly tell myself to stay strong. Court is where we will seek refuge. It doesn't mean we'll be staying there forever. We just need the safety the wards can offer us for now.

I walk up to the information desk at the airport with my daughters, Arielle and Josh close behind me. I'd managed to book seats on a flight to Pennsylvania using my emergency credit card I had stashed away for a rainy day. And today it's pouring. I show my ID to the young woman at the counter and change two tickets for a flight to Germany instead. Arielle has decided she'd prefer to go to her sister's place instead, and really, as long as they're safe, that's okay with me.

The twins and I move through security with ease and head straight for the gate our flight is scheduled to depart from. We still have a couple of hours before the flight will even be called, but I want to be ready as soon as it is. I need to be ready for everything, otherwise I know I'm going to unravel completely.

I sit down with a sigh as my mind decides to replay my conversation with Arielle from earlier. Surreal doesn't even begin to describe how the situation is. I've gone from wondering how I was supposed to keep the twins entertained for the entire month, to fleeing the only life I know. And it all happened in the space of about thirty minutes…

"Mum," Akeso says, instantly breaking me away from my muddled thoughts. "You okay? You totally spaced out there."

"Oh…um, yeah," I stammer as I regain my composure. I haven't had the chance to tell the girls what's going on. Of course they know there's more to the impromptu vacation than Arielle and I are letting on, but they soon realised I wasn't going to be explaining any further right now. "What were you saying?"

"Tia and I want to go look at the duty-free store just over there," she says, pointing past my shoulder.

"Okay," I say with a sigh. "No further though. And just keep an eye out…for anything…out of place, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she replies as they walk away.

I watch them leave as a melancholy feeling washes over me. Somehow I know this little 'holiday' is going to change all of us. I have watched my girls grow up and mature, and suddenly it feels like I'm loosing them. I can't shake the unwanted feeling, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.

Going to court is going to change everything. I just don't know how big that change is actually going to be.

~:~:~:~:~

I managed to get us on a flight out of London pretty quickly, which is lucky since there's actually a bad snowstorm moving in. Our flight is the last to depart. Our luck increased even further since we only have one connection before we land in Pennsylvania. From there I plan to hire a car and drive, hoping we can make it to court before the sun goes down.

The flight from London to New York is long and tiring. And no matter how much I try, I just can't sleep.

My mind has chosen to occupy itself with the strange dream I'd had the previous night. With everything else that happened today with the Christmas tree, angel and Arielle, I haven't had time to consider what the dream could have possibly meant. It was the strangest dream I can remember ever having. I'm sure it was my dream, yet I had no control over myself in it. And the person I was talking to – who was apparently the Queen? – kept referring to me as Princess or Vasilisa.

And really, when I put it like that, strange doesn't even begin to describe what the dream was. Perhaps crazy is a more adequate description.

There's one particular part of the dream, though, that I just can't get out of my head. The Queen had spoken of the 'promised ones' and her need to use them to win. Don't ask me why I'm obsessing on that point in particular, because I really don't know. But it's like a broken record in my head. I can hear those two words – promised ones – over and over. It sounds unbelievable…and of course it has to be. Just the thought of anyone having that much pull over the fate of the moroi and dhampir races is beyond incomprehensible. Guardians are the only ones who can really do anything against strigoi – since most moroi refuse to use their magic – and it takes years of training and discipline for them to reach that potential. And their numbers are slowly dwindling away.

Surely the dream is nothing more than an epic creation of my mind, warped by exhaustion and stress. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I reposition myself so I'm completely facing the window. The twins are sound asleep in the seats next to me, and I hope Arielle and Josh have already landed in Germany. I stare out into the darkness of the sky. Occasionally the lights from the plane illuminate part of a cloud, but apart from that there is only the glitter of the stars to see. I have no idea if we're flying over land or the ocean. I don't really care either. We are away from London, and that's all that really matters to me now.

I'm mentally drained from the day's events, yet thoughts continue to take prime position in my mind, denying me the sleep I so desperately want. It's been one thing after another since I'd been woken up this morning. The angel had disappeared, and given the reason for Arielle's visit, I couldn't help but consider that maybe someone had been inside our apartment last night. Just the thought of that sickens me. Had it been strigoi? Or had it been a human working for strigoi under the promise of immortality? Neither of those options are better than the other.

And then there's the fact that Arielle had been kidnapped and taken to a strigoi who knows my name. As far as I know I've never been close enough to any strigoi that they would know me on a first name basis. What have done in my life before being found alone and pregnant in London that would make any strigoi know me? I wish I knew.

Even more unsettling is the fact that this strigoi wants me to just hand over my daughters to him. And the question remains: why? Could my past give me the answers I desperately need?

There's so little I know. I had been found in front of the apartment building that I'd come to call home. I've been told I was dazed, confused and just kept saying the name Rose Wallace, which we presume is my name. Jasmine – the woman who found me – took me in without any hesitation and provided me with clothes, food and a roof over my head.

It was soon after Jasmine found me that I learnt I was pregnant. Even now I can't describe the influx of emotions I'd felt back then. Apart from what we had assumed was my name, I had no idea who I was or where I'd come from. How was I supposed to bring a baby into the world when I didn't even know up from down? But Jasmine was there every step of the way. She taught me everything I needed to know and helped me gain some kind of control over my life.

Questions continue to form in my mind as I stare out at the star lit night. How am I supposed to protect my daughters when I don't know what I'm protecting them from? How am I supposed to uncover my past when I don't even know where to start? How am I supposed to cope and stay strong for my daughters when it seems like the entire world is crashing down on us?

Taking one step at a time doesn't seem enough to combat the problems that keep tumbling into our lives. One step at a time is just a snail pace compared to the speed I need to go.

I draw in a long, deep breath and tell myself it will all be okay. It has to be okay after all. A world where I would willingly hand over my daughters to any strigoi would never exist. I would never allow them to become one of those soulless creatures, not as long as my heart is still beating, which from the pounding within my chest I know it is. If it's a fight the strigoi are after…they're going to get one.

With this knowledge at the forefront of my mind, exhaustion pulls me away from reality. I fall into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares of the unknown.


	5. Chapter 5

"Name?" the guardian at the front gate questions gruffly. _He's had a long, boring shift,_ I tell myself as I take in his professional appearance.

We've arrived at court after driving most of the day. It's close to 4p.m, and we've only stopped once since driving away from the airport. For the first time since talking with Arielle I actually feel as thought we're somewhat safe. We're behind the wards that protect the royal court, and from what Arielle told me yesterday, no strigoi can pass through them. I just hope we won't be turned away.

"Rose Wallace," I reply with as much confidence as I can gather. "We're seeking refuge on court."

"I see. And who's travelling with you?" he questions as he gazes into the van.

"My daughters. Tiannah and Akeso Wallace," I reply.

Silence falls as the guardian continues to write what I assume are our names in his small notepad. My stomach clenches nervously and from the corner of my eye I can see the girls are trying their best not to fidget under the scrutiny.

"Why do you seek refuge?"

"Threats have been made towards my daughters," I say softly. I cross my fingers and toes hoping that the twins haven't heard me.

"Threats made by whom?"

"Strigoi," I reply as my voice shakes.

The guardian looks at me as if I've spoken some alien language he can't understand. His eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging slightly agape. He obviously wasn't expecting that answer, but then again who would have been? He remains quiet, as if he's replaying my response over in his head, trying to find any alternate word I could have possibly used.

"Why on earth would strigoi threaten your children?" he asks, still wearing his shell-shocked look.

"That's what I need to work out," I tell him as calmly as I can manage. "And I'm hoping I can do that behind the safety of the wards. For my children's sake."

He looks completely dumbfounded as he walks towards the small brick building next to where our rental van has been stopped, he continuously shakes his head. He's gone for a few minutes before returning with two other guardians. They speak in hushed tones between themselves as they walk back to my open window. Their stoic faces are giving nothing away.

"Ma'am," one of the new guardians say in greeting. "I understand you're wanting to stay on court?"

"That's right," I confirm. "I'm not sure for how long. Though I hope it will only be for a couple of weeks at the most."

"And your reason for doing so?" he asks as a brown lock of hair falls over his eyes.

"We're seeking somewhere safe while I try to work out why strigoi would want to harm us," I explain meekly. I suddenly feel like I'm being interrogated for their own humour.

"Strigoi are known for wanting to harm people, Ma'am," he tells me mockingly as he raises an eyebrow.

"Do you think I would drag my children half way around the world right on Christmas for no good reason?" I ask as I stare at him in disbelief. "I am well aware of how strigoi are, we live out in the real world Sir. But when one of them comes around demanding you hand over your daughters to them, after calling you by name, there's something not quite right. Wouldn't you agree?"

The three guardians regard me with different expressions on their faces. The one who questioned me first still holds disbelief in his eyes. The brown haired guardian looks horrified, and the other one, who looks much older than the others, simply looks bored. I know there's a chance they will think I'm lying. Maybe they think we're only seeking refuge for the free accommodation and food that comes with it.

But I'm not looking for a cheap vacation for my small family. I need to keep my girls safe, and I only hope the guardians can see that.

"Two buildings down from this gate is a coffee shop," the bored guardian says. "You will need to wait there while we arrange accommodation for tonight."

"Okay," I say. They haven't said no, and yet I also know it isn't a yes. But coffee is definitely calling to me.

"You need to know there are no guarantees that you'll be permitted to stay longer than tonight," the guardian states as the other two walk away in deep conversation. "The final decision is for the Queen and her council."

"Of course," I say softly. While I understand this, I hope and pray they Queen will have some mercy on us.

The guardian lifts the gate and we drive through slowly, heading straight for the coffee shop he's told us to go to. I pull into a free parking space and force myself to take a deep breath. We're safe for tonight at least, and that has to be something. Right?

We order our drinks and take a booth next to the window. My girls sit close to me instead of across the table, and I don't mind. I prefer to have them close to me right now. Sure we might be safer on court than we are at home, but it's still a strange place. I'm feeling well out of my comfort zone.

A young moroi woman places our order on the table with a small smile before she returns to wiping down tables. I watch her sadly, knowing I will need to find new employment when we return home. I refuse to think of it in terms of if. I have to believe that we'll return home if I have any hope of keeping my sanity. Even if the prospect of having to find new work is glum.

I greedily take my coffee and hold it protectively in my hands as I gaze out the window. It's been hours since I had my last coffee hit. I can vaguely hear the twins chatting to each other, but I can't seem to concentrate on their words.

I'm so tired. I barely slept on the flight to New York, and our connection flight was short and full of turbulence. We then sat in the car for hours while I drove to court, and since the twins have never driven, it was all on me. So maybe tired doesn't quite describe the exhaustion I'm feeling.

Even the coffee is struggling to keep my heavy eyes open.

"Mum," Kes says softly from next to me. "Why are we seeking refuge?"

I sigh, knowing too well I can't keep them in the dark forever. "How much of what I said to the guardians did you hear?" I ask.

"Only that we're seeking refuge and something about threats," she replies. Her face is pale from worry.

"I can't explain right now," I tell her. We're in the middle of a coffee shop, and having the conversation here is out of the question. "After we get some sleep, okay?"

Both Kes and Tia nod. I know they will hold me to the promise I've just made of telling them as soon as we wake up. At least I managed to buy a few hours. I still have no idea what I'll actually tell them. Truthfully, I want to avoid telling them as much as possible. I want to protect them, but I don't know if keeping the truth from them is the best way to do that.

I gaze out the window and take in the buildings scattered around us. They all look so similar, and it's hard to tell whether they're office buildings or residential units. It kind of reminds me of the gated communities I've seen while travelling through the more upper class suburbs of London. Either that or the elite Universities scattered around the city.

My attention is drawn to the end of the table as a guardian arrives. He isn't a guardian I've seen since arriving at court, but he holds what looks like two swipe cards, so I am more than happy to see him. He glances quickly at the twins, but his eyes linger on me. His eyes narrow, and I'm sure I see a hint of recognition in them before he face becomes unreadable.

"Are they for our room?" I ask as I push away the feeling of unease.

"Oh…uh, yes," he stammers. His cheeks are slightly flushed as he regains his composure. "A room has been organised for you to stay in tonight. I can take you there now, if you're ready?"

I drink the rest of my coffee and the girls slide out of the booth. It feels unnatural to drink such a good coffee so quickly. I thank the waitress on the way out and unlock the van as I come to a stop on the path.

"We'll follow you?" I ask as I open the driver's door.

"Yes, yes," he says dismissively as he retreats to his car.

I drive slowly through the quiet streets of court, following the guardian who seems to drive as fast as a turtle. We turn corner after corner, slowly being led deeper into the throws of the royal court. After what seems like an eternity of following him, the guardian's black SUV pulls into the semi circle driveway of a flashy multistorey building.

It's much nicer than the building we call home. The beige bricks are actually clean, and none of the windows are boarded up. There's a red canopy that arches over the driveway which leads to the glass revolving door. It reminds me of hotels I've seen in movies set in New York City.

I pull up behind the SUV and we get out of the van once again. The twins are awed by the building towering in front of them, they stand gazing up at the shuttered windows, many of which have the curtains drawn for the moroi night.

"I've always wanted to walk through a door like that," I hear Tia say.

"Your room is on the fifth floor," the guardian states.

"Thank you," I mutter as I take the swipe cards from him.

"May I ask your name?" he asks as I turn to walk away.

"Rose," I reply.

"Rose what?" he questions, and I can see some kind of hope building in his eyes.

"Wallace," I tell him. "Why?"

"You look so much like someone I attended the academy with," he replies sadly. "I haven't seen her in a real long time. Her name is Rose too." The hope has vanished and it's been replaced with a sadness I can somehow relate to.

"Oh…okay."

Returning to the van, I help the twins with our bags. Between the three of us, we have four. The girls have somehow managed to fit what they wanted to bring into three bags, which is a miracle in itself.

We take the elevator to the fifth floor and find our room easily. I can't help the small smile that crosses my lips when I hear the door unlock as I swipe the card. And I can't help my reaction as we step inside the room that will be home for tonight at least.

We walk into a large open plan living area consisting of a lounge area, dinning room and spacious kitchen. The TV alone is astonishing in its size, it's the biggest I've ever seen, and by far trumps the small metal box we have at home. The set of couches look more than appealing. Their colour coded perfectly with the cushions on the dinning chairs.

I walk into the kitchen to find the pantry and fridge stocked with what I'm sure are expensive, gourmet foods. Glancing around, there are more appliances than I ever thought possible. Cooking in a kitchen such as this would be a dream for me, even if my specialty is just beef stew.

Off to the left of the living area there are a series of doors, and we discover on inspection, lead to three large bedrooms and an oversized bathroom. The bedrooms are all fitted with a king sized bed holding a mountain of pillows. They each have large wardrobes and ensuite bathrooms that aren't much smaller than the main bathroom.

It's far beyond what I was expecting to be given as accommodation. A single room with twin beds, a bathroom and perhaps a desk would have been perfect. This…well this is going to make it that bit harder to actually return to London.

"Can we check out court?" Kes asks excitedly as she walks out of the room the twins have claimed as their own.

"After we've rested for a bit," I say as I stifle a yawn.

"We aren't tired though," Tia states.

"That's great, but I am," I tell them as I yawn again. "And I'd prefer you weren't wandering around here without me. We don't know this place."

I start walking towards one of the other bedrooms. I don't care which one I end up in, as long as there's a bed. I'm sure, in this moment, I could actually sleep on a bed of nails and have been comfortable. I fall onto the bed and crawl into the middle, pulling one of the pillow from the mound to rest my head on.

Within seconds I fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.


End file.
